Beyond Shame - interview with Matthias Roberts
Hello and welcome to Episode 10 of This Little Light Of Mine. My name is James Powell and I’m glad that you’re able to join me for today’s episode, Beyond Shame.
Not only is Matthias a superstar podcaster, he is also a therapist and author AND today he will be sharing some of his personal experiences with shame AND insights from his new book ‘Beyond Shame – Creating a healthy sex life on your own terms’.
Before we jump into my conversation with Matthias, I want to thank everyone who left comments for This Little Light Of Mine on all the different versions of Apple Podcasts around the world as part of our contest to win Matthias’ book ‘Beyond Shame’.
Our winner is TOlistener77 from Canada who wrote:
“I love this podcast! It speaks to often taboo topics / issues in an open, honest and helpful way. James’ and his guests’ personal experiences give the podcast a refreshing level of authenticity. Can’t wait to see and hear what’s in the works! Keep it up.”
Thank you to TOlistener77 for your encouragement, drop me a DM @MyLightShinesBright on Instagram and I can get your details to send you your own copy of Beyond Shame.
And without further ado, here’s my conversation with Matthias’ Roberts.
I would like to give a huge shout out to Matthias Roberts for being generous with his time and for sharing so vulnerably with us.
I really appreciate when a therapist, author and expert on ‘shame’ is able to walk the talk when it comes to vulnerability.
Our capacity to be wounded
The definition of vulnerability that Mattias’ shared that talks about our capacity to be wounded… that shot an arrow that pierced my soul and gives me a really clear goal to work towards when I think of my own healing path.
Brent Brown on vulnerability
I’ve been a big fan of Brene Brown for years and have used her definitions around vulnerability in my own life, with teams at work, in coaching and consulting engagements
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”
“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.
As I take a step back and look at vulnerability as my capacity of being wounded, I can see how “cleansed”, “socially acceptable” and “corporatized” these definitions are.
Raw and messy
The capacity to be wounded is next level. It’s raw, messy and puts everything on the line. It is also the exact antithesis to how I taught myself to live my life.
My entire life objective was DON’T LET THEM SEE HOW HURT YOU ARE.
Do you live from a place of vulnerability?
So what about you? Do you live your life from a place of vulnerability?
Are you opening yourself to the potential of being wounded with your friends, family or partner?
What about work? Do you approach your job from a place of vulnerability, or do you go into every situation with your battle shields up?
We live in a society that worships certainty and control so that we don’t ever get wounded.
- Don’t ask a question that you don’t know the answer to.
- Have a contingency plan for your contingency plan.
- Don’t ever let them see you cry
What if we flipped that switch? What would our world look like? What would your job look like? What would your relationships look like?
Who would you be if you lived beyond shame?
God hates figs?
Thank you so much for joining us today and I look forward to connecting with you in two-weeks’ time for our next story episode called ‘God hates figs’… and no it’s not an episode about fruits… well actually it is an episode about what I was taught that God thought about fruits… but sidenote… did you know that a fig is actually a flower and not a fruit?
Thank you again for being with us today and before I go, I want to remind you.
Your story is important. You were designed with a powerful voice. We need to hear what you have to say. You matter, you are needed, you are wanted, and you are loved.